I’m getting uncomfortable, and it is just what I need.
I like comfort. I like my box.
My husband can attest to this. “Yes, I’d like a #5, 8 count with barbecue sauce and a Dr.Pepper.” (hey, I love Chik Fil A!) He knows that line as well as I do. I don’t change it up very often. I like routine. I like safe.
It can be so easy to ignore information about starving and dying children, because it feels better to not think about it as I eat to my heart’s content. It can be alarmingly easy to bypass an article, because I can tell by reading the title, alone, that it might make me feel unsettled in my spirit. It can be frighteningly easy to look the other way when I hear of hurt, heartache, disease, disaster, etc., especially when it is not necessarily infringing on my own comfortable world. It can be easy. Too easy. Scarily easy.
For as long as I can remember, even as a child, I recall thinking very vividly at times that I would never want to be a foreign missionary. Nope. Not for me. I would see movies, hear testimonies, etc.. and my response was always the same, “well, that is really great for them, but thank goodness that’s not me”. I’m not saying that the Lord was ever calling me to serve in that capacity at that time, but I don’t think I would have been open to his call, even if he were. I’m also not saying that I am being called to that now, but I know one thing for sure; I am being called to get uncomfortable.
This has been something that I feel the Lord has been chipping away at for at least a year or more.
Yesterday, I began to read Kisses from Katie by Katie Davis. I read half of the book last night and plan to read the rest tonight. I’ve laughed and cried. More than anything, though, I have felt deep conviction. Perhaps not conviction that I should take my family to Uganda to live forever, but conviction to look after the least of these, in whatever capacity I am able. Conviction to serve the Lord through loving others, especially the helpless and needy. Conviction to step out of my little box and comfortable world. Conviction to look into the faces and eyes of those that need the love of Jesus. Conviction to not look the other way and pretend that these lost and needy souls do not exist. Conviction to say, “Yes.”, to whatever my God may ask of me. Deep conviction.
We are all quick to nod our heads and agree that there is a huge world of lost people out there that need love, care and Jesus. Oh, yes, because, that, my friends, is the Christian thing to do. We may feel compelled to acknowledge a need with our lips and pocketbooks. After all, we have a reputation to keep up with and we feel a little better about ourselves if we nod our heads in agreement. Are we nearly as quick to volunteer to be the ones to show the world love, care and Jesus? It might mean that we become uncomfortable and it could be downright terrifying. It is more than being kind to our co-workers, smiling at the gas station cashier, or giving spare change to the homeless man on the corner. It is more than sponsoring a child from Zimbabwe by sending a mere $35 a month. It is more than nodding our heads in agreement when we are faced with great need. It is more than apathetically pacifying a greater conviction within us. A conviction that is placed within us. When we ignore this conviction, we aren’t merely ignoring our conscience or moral convictions. If we are followers of Christ, we are ignoring the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of our Lord. HE has placed His desires in our hearts, so that, in turn, we may be the hands and feet of Jesus.
Are we truly being His hands and feet? Am I truly being His hands and feet? Is my heart open to His calling for my family, whatever that may be?
I don’t know what this looks like for me and my family, but I know that His plans are far greater than our own.
I pray that I would be willing and available. I pray that my family would not be indulgent and ignorant. I pray for a bold movement of the Holy Spirit among believers, so that not just a ripple, but a wave of Jesus would be felt in every corner of the world, to the glory and honor of our Maker, our most high King.
I’m getting uncomfortable. Shouldn’t we all be getting uncomfortable?
“Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” Matthew 10:37-39