Faith, Family & Kids, Home

Keep Fighting

Each time someone shares that they are in a season of constant bickering or fighting with their spouse, I say something to the effect of,

“That’s okay. Fighting is better than apathy. Just fight fairly, and well.”

It’s true.

There are seasons. There are days, weeks, and sometimes months, where you feel a constant prickly tension. There are times when you wonder why you can’t seem to get on the same page. There are moments, when you voice aloud your distaste for being at odds with one another, and there are stolen moments in quiet, when you let the tears fall with no one to see.

Keep fighting.

Literally. Don’t stop caring enough to fight.

Fight fairly, though. Don’t lose sight of what a God-honoring marriage looks like.  No two people, if they are being open and honest, agree 100% of the time. You see, a God-honoring marriage is not one that is void of disagreement. On the contrary, it may be filled with it at times, but it will come down to the position of our hearts. Are our hearts aligned with His? Are we willing to humbly accept when we are wrong? Are we willing to extend grace, despite our circumstance? Are we willing to listen, when we are bubbling over with words? Are we willing to fight fairly? Again, are our hearts aligned with His?

Keep fighting for your marriage, but please fight fairly.

And, look for the light. Because, friends, there are other, much longer, and better seasons. There are days, weeks, and often months and years, where the relationship is sweet. There are times when you realize that the path is smooth, not because it has been an easy path, but because of the rough days, weeks, and months, that wore away at the sharpest of edges. It is a well-worn path. There are moments, when you feel so strongly, there are no words to speak, and even in the quietest moments, the tears fall from such overwhelming joy.

There is always light.

Marriage is a beautiful, messy climb, full of crags. It’s craggy business. Craggy. I like it. One definition is “rough in a way that suggests strength”. Keep climbing. Keep fighting. Climb well, and fight fairly. Look for the light, because traversing one crag at a time keeps us moving upward, and the summit is just ahead. When you get there, be sure to turn around and check out the incredible view. Then, hand in hand, you can say, “Look what we climbed. Together.” Then, turn back around, because a new journey awaits. You’ll be stronger, ready to face new adventures. Together. Keep fighting, friends.


*PLEASE NOTE that if there is verbal, physical, mental, or spiritual abuse in your marriage, it is not my recommendation to continue in that toxic or harmful environment. If this is you, please confide in someone you trust, or call The National Domestic Violence hotline at 1-800-799-7233.


1 thought on “Keep Fighting”

  1. Yes sweet sister and the following is from a Devo called streams in the dessert .. so please keep calling back !!! Love you, your sister in Christ , Andrea

    Thanks for climbing with us & calling back 😍💋

    Call Back

    Life is a steep climb, and it does the heart good to have somebody “call back” and cheerily beckon us on up the high hill. We are all climbers together, and we must help one another. This mountain climbing is serious business, but glorious. It takes strength and steady step to find the summits. The outlook widens with the altitude. If anyone among us has found anything worth while, we ought to “call back.”

    If you have gone a little way ahead of me, call back— ’Twill cheer my heart and help my feet along the stony track; And if, perchance, Faith’s light is dim, because the oil is low, Your call will guide my lagging course as wearily I go.

    Call back, and tell me that He went with you into the storm; Call back, and say He kept you when the forest’s roots were torn; That, when the heavens thunder and the earthquake shook the hill, He bore you up and held you where the very air was still.

    Oh, friend, call back, and tell me for I cannot see your face, They say it glows with triumph, and your feet bound in the race; But there are mists between us and my spirit eyes are dim, And I cannot see the glory, though I long for word of Him.

    But if you’ll say He heard you when your prayer was but a cry, And if you’ll say He saw you through the night’s sin-darkened sky If you have gone a little way ahead, oh, friend, call back— ’Twill cheer my heart and help my feet along the stony track.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s